Reader Question: Dear Monty, we have been looking for a home for about six months. We have spoken to many real estate agents. We have noticed that the vast majority of them are rather pushy, some more than others, some work hard to hide it, but it comes through. We buy many items through salespeople in a variety of industries, and while being pushy can still occur, it is not nearly as prevalent as in real estate. Why is this?
Monty’s Answer: Your six months of observation are worth more than most consumers realize. You haven’t just noticed an annoyance, you’ve identified a structural flaw that harms buyers and sellers alike. The pushiness you describe is not a personality quirk. It is baked into the business model, enforced by broker culture, and protected by a regulatory system designed more to serve agents than consumers.
The Commission Trap
Real estate agents work almost exclusively on contingency. No closing, no paycheck. According to NAR’s own 2025 Member Profile, the median agent completed 10 transaction sides in 2024, roughly five completed sales, while the median gross income reached $58,100. After broker splits, marketing costs, licensing fees, and self-employment taxes, many agents net far less. That math creates desperation, and desperation creates pressure.
Brokers Make It Worse
The broker sitting above your agent has the same incentive on a larger scale. Brokers recruit heavily, collect desk fees, and profit from each closed transaction regardless of agent quality. Most brokers do not screen for competence, they screen for activity. As I’ve documented at DearMonty, a 2015 NAR internal report found that 7,800 agents identified their own industry’s biggest threat as “a large number of part-time, untrained, unethical, and/or incompetent agents.” The brokers who employ them haven’t fixed this because those agents still generate fees.
A Regulator That Works for the Industry
As we’ve covered in this column, state real estate commissions – the agencies charged with protecting consumers – are populated largely by practicing agents. The Consumer Federation of America has called for “practicing real estate brokers to be prohibited from serving in any regulatory capacity.” They haven’t been. The fox remains guarding the henhouse.
What You Should Do
You have real options:
- Test patience directly. Ask any candidate agent: “What if we need another six months?” Agents who pivot immediately to urgency have told you everything.
- Demand a short-term buyer agreement. New rules now require written buyer agreements before touring homes. Insist on 30–60 day terms with a clear exit. Brokers who resist have revealed their priorities.
- Consider a fee-for-service agent. A small segment charges flat or hourly fees, eliminating the closing-dependent income conflict entirely. If you can find an exclusive buyer agent, a rare breed, they are bound to represent only buyers, which suggests they are service-oriented. You can find them at the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents.
- Name the behavior calmly. When pressure surfaces, simply say: “We’re not in a rush.” Agents who respect this are worth keeping. Those who escalate are not.
The Bottom Line
The pushiness you experienced is a symptom of a hundred-year-old business model that brokers and regulators have never been forced to fix. Protect yourself by treating agent selection as rigorously as you would any major hiring decision, because that is exactly what it is.
